Damn.
I really did not plan this PS2 repair particularly well.
This is the long version of an unsuccessful optical-pickup replacement attempt.
I did not preserve enough information in the post to identify the exact PlayStation 2 model, pickup model or final reason the replacement failed.
That matters because PS2 optical pickups are not one universal interchangeable part.
Different console revisions use different pickup models, and many replacement pickups are shipped with an anti-static solder bridge that has to be removed before use.
I cannot establish from the surviving article whether either of those issues caused my failure here.
So rather than manufacture a diagnosis thirteen years later:
this is an unsuccessful repair attempt, preserved in full.
If you don’t want to watch 24 minutes of failure, hold tight for the short and sweet version coming up next!